A Vending Machine for Stories & A Swan’s Subway Ride Home | The Daily Social Distancing Show

12 nov 2020
711 823 Vistas

A pro golfer scores a gravity-defying hole in one, a college vending machine dispenses short stories, and a New York City woman rescues a sick swan and brings the swan on the subway. #DailyShow #TrevorNoah #GoodNews
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  • i'm eating cold chicken... :(

    wolfslullabywolfslullabyHace 5 días
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    Fred BallackFred BallackHace 6 días
  • Even that swan has a better love life than I do

    Abdullah FadulAbdullah FadulHace 6 días
  • My heart is always a flame.

    Katherine FerrisKatherine FerrisHace 6 días
  • Trevor Noah ruined The Daily Show.

    Heidi HHeidi HHace 7 días
  • With trump gone the news is just so much more positive

    Zedian ZediessiZedian ZediessiHace 7 días
  • I feel like shit.im single and no salad or man😁😀😂

    faze guifaze guiHace 7 días
  • Lol Byu students cannot drink.

    A SA SHace 7 días
  • Tiger whom?

    Kenn BosakKenn BosakHace 7 días
  • I know Dude Perfect will try that golf trick now 😂

    Brian the TrainerBrian the TrainerHace 7 días
  • The irony of me, single, eating cold chicken in my underwear is ridiculously sad and funny at the same time. NOTE TO SELF: Warm up chicken tomorrow and repeat

    Anele khozaAnele khozaHace 7 días
  • I found a juvenile pigeon with a broken flight feather in front of the grocery store and snatched him up before my dog could get a look. he then went into the grocery store with us, to three other stores and then the bus home. this took place in Seattle. (*pigeon fully recovered in two weeks and was released as soon as he was comfortable flying.)

    Liam Rhys StarkLiam Rhys StarkHace 8 días
    • I also took him on walks with my dog. he just chilled on my shoulder while we did errands because he needed time away from the cats in the fresh air.

      Liam Rhys StarkLiam Rhys StarkHace 8 días
  • Liked the reference to The Lottery.

    Mamie AndingMamie AndingHace 8 días
  • Wow a swan on subway

    Ali EltaebAli EltaebHace 8 días
  • This guy! 😂😂😂

    PelirojaPelirojaHace 8 días
  • In my city, one of the most bizzare things I've seen was some guy on the street dragging a dead pigeon on a leash. I swear if I had recorded it I'd be famous!

    SegaDisneyUniverseSegaDisneyUniverseHace 8 días
  • Free healthcare, salad and a man lmaooooo! *cries in single forever

    Parisred1996Parisred1996Hace 9 días
  • You know what's curious? As a child, I'd choose that vending machine instead a candy dispenser... I had no friends 🤣

    Dafny RivasaDafny RivasaHace 9 días
  • that is way better than my insurance plan! it's so true it's hilarious lmao and now it's just sad 😂

    Mark CamphorMark CamphorHace 9 días
  • OPEN LETTER TO THE SUPREME COURT: WHY, unlike in 2000, doing nothing, when RUNAWAY HORIZONS OF SURVIVAL of the UNION are petitioning you? WHY your TIME-INVARIANT DUTY-DESTINY is not effected in face of this crisis? Unequivocally proven by attached APPENDIX, short list of verified, suppressed, hidden facts are presented to prove the election was legally void months before its run - concluding, that less changing current results, a GA type RUNOFF is the sole, no-escape, no alternative, your duty-destiny to provide legal solution to HEAL-SAVE THE UNION, and perhaps more, domestically and globally. \\\\ APPENDIX //// Free speech of pandemic science, for instance, daily published by JHU, WHO, WRLD BNK, CDC, ECDC, NHC, DXY, if distorted, suppressed and hidden as key election issue, backfires, and, proven below, voids the election months before run. It started by CNN's ACOSTA allegedly abusing it, then enhanced by deleting it [*] below, to fix WH liability in failing COVID-19 handling, an election issue, because most scare voters with big COVID deaths, knowingly these mainly reflect biggest U.S. population size, more detecting techs/methods/trusting more people to be hospitalized by alleged inflated NUMBERS [paid for] - I recuse myself, as scientist [books, Amazon/1Mil+citations by Google], from debating politics. Living in Palm Beach, FL, I saw how, in 2000, the SC had self-assumed its duty-destiny to save the Union. Remain un-repairable - none can fix election invalidations before Nov 3, no alternative is left, and no accepted healer in sight but SC runoff order, less a word on first run. [*] Addendum: Relevant, globally trusted, hidden verified facts-science at 'IN', utube, mails.///

    Benjamin Gal-OrBenjamin Gal-OrHace 9 días
  • Do ya see a theme blackcommunitynews.com/the-most-dangerous-place-for-blacks/

    Sunshine GSunshine GHace 9 días
  • I really wish they would have led that she used to work at a bird sanctuary, I was so worried she didn't know what she was doing and should have just called animal services!

    Crystal WolcottCrystal WolcottHace 9 días
  • Did you know about this ? Vaxx the blacks? esworld.info/do/Y3aqYY9_m3m9j5o/v-deo.html

    Sunshine GSunshine GHace 9 días
  • Wholesome news....... that was new

    Steven LopezSteven LopezHace 9 días
  • +1 for "The Lottery" reference. I'd kill for those short story vending machines. That was one heck of a golf shot. Definitely needed that heartwarming story about the swan. Nice break from all the crazy political shit

    Angelita BecerraAngelita BecerraHace 9 días
  • I love that Swan story. Great job to that lady for being compassionate towards animals.

    Arianna EllieArianna EllieHace 9 días
  • 5:41) Oh my God you got a love a good animal story man

    Eliza WilsonEliza WilsonHace 9 días
  • The food packaging with stories on them, that’s not a bad idea actually i’d endorse the hell out of that one

    Eliza WilsonEliza WilsonHace 9 días
    • I think Japan is already on that. Look for Shinrabansho Choco.

      GamePapaGamePapaHace 9 días
    • I think there is a chocolate company that prints small poems and excerpts of prose on the inside of their packages. Chocolove or something like that. They used to sell them in my university coffee shop.

      Crystal WolcottCrystal WolcottHace 9 días
  • There is/was actually a vending machine in Japan doing exactly what Trevor suggested. It sells regular box cookies/crackers wrapped with short stories. (Many of them quite disturbing.) You can find some youtube videos about this.

    Bob LuBob LuHace 9 días
    • one example here: esworld.info/do/g4Kxlnecnoy0esU/v-deo.html

      Bob LuBob LuHace 9 días
  • She's lucky that black and white feathered Raptor didn't bite her face off. It was probably already in the last phase of grief.

    1sttobylopez1sttobylopezHace 9 días
  • Give me a facts machine! I think it's time we recycled the term! It would be a vending machine full of math equations, historical facts and life hacks, how to instructions, how to get free money, a list of mixed drink recipes, how does your vote affect the economy even when you don't win, which local jobs make the most money, what cars require the least amount of maintenance, what to get your girlfriend on your anniversary? , different types of kissing techniques, the cleanest blood and plasma donation locations, what not to say on your first date, how to wipe your ass ... just stuff that's not common knowledge to Millennials and above

    1sttobylopez1sttobylopezHace 9 días
  • Get those story vending machines in every city, town, village, airport, bus station, train station, taxi station, gas station, subway station, horse-drawn carriage stations, walkways, mall, Walmart, entrances to buildings, restaurants, grocery stores, smoke shops, dispensaries, hospitals, post office, Amazon Locker, public parks, bars, pubs, dog park, cat parks, goat parks, petting zoos, NASCAR racetrack, horse racetrack, go-cart racetrack, bumper boats, laser tags, pizza parlors, aquariums, hiking trails, etc., IN THE WORLD!

    Kristen MartinKristen MartinHace 9 días
  • He kinda missed out on a „oh duck!“ joke 🙈

    Anna ZWAnna ZWHace 9 días
  • Those swans will not necessarily have a happy ending. That is not a native swan. There are state agencies that go around every year and shake all their eggs to death. Really.

    Linda Pinda BelindaLinda Pinda BelindaHace 10 días
  • Add the story dispenser to trump's mac atleast he'd lose a couple of pounds and eat a vegetable for once!

    Rishab .bRishab .bHace 10 días
  • We're hearing something pleasant like a woman saving a swan. I am SICK of the Dumpster cronies as of most of the country.

    Zoe FangZoe FangHace 10 días
  • I didn't know Swans wag their tails like dogs when they're happy??? Swans are man's new bestfriends Ig...❤

    Roseanne MiltonRoseanne MiltonHace 10 días
    • You clearly have never met a swan in real life... they are worse and more dangerous than geese.

      SinochuSinochuHace 9 días
  • I'd watch PGA trick shots.

    Jun MorenoJun MorenoHace 10 días
  • That ball mustve been named Jesus, as it walked on top of water...

    Wa Meng XiongWa Meng XiongHace 10 días
  • "eating chicken in my underwear"?........... STOP PEEPING IN MY WINDOWS TREVOR!!!!!

    William RoarkWilliam RoarkHace 10 días
  • [Nov 15] Free speech on pandemic science, if hidden, backfires, may even void elections months before started, thus, post election, allegedly affect (a) US SC Reputation, (b) U.S. Reputation, (c) Reputation of JHU, WHO, WRLD BNK, CDC, ECDC, NHC, DXY, (d) This election reputation. It started months before the Nov 3 election to allegedly affect it, first by CNN's ACOSTA allegedly abusing (c)-Science [earlier posts], secondly enhanced by Media and Democrats Camp, [MDC], [Utube vids], deleting (c)-Science [earlier posts] to falsely fix WH liability in failed handling the COVID-19 pandemic, a decisive election issue because, for months, MDC kept scaring voters with big COVID deaths, in NUMBERS-ONLY, knowingly by NUMBERS-ONLY MDC gains in election by blaming WH for failure to handle the COVID-19 epidemic, thus, no 2nd-term, if MDC effectively hides from voters the verified facts that big COVID NUMBERS-ONLY do NOT prove WH failure, because they mainly reflect biggest U.S. population size, more detecting techs/methods/trusting more people to be hospitalized by alleged inflated NUMBERS [paid for] - I recuse myself, as scientist [books, Amazon/1Mil+citations by Google], from debating politics. Living in Palm Beach, FL, I saw how, in 2000, the SC had self-assumed its duty-destiny to save the nation for even darker, survival at stake situation today. Said un-repairable, election invalidations took place before Nov 3, leaving no alternative before the SC but to save the aforementioned reputations, and more, by runoff free of said invalidations, disputed or real. [IN]>

    Benjamin Gal-OrBenjamin Gal-OrHace 10 días
  • Stand Up .... ... For America. During these troubling times I would encourage concerned Americans to take up a U. S. Flag. Find an appropriate (and legal) location. Stand and hold the flag. Stay for at least 4 hours. No chanting of political slogans, Remain quiet except for normal conversation. If others doing same thing then gather together but maintain six feet between fellow ‘standers’ at all times. If someone asks, say what you feel but remain apolitical at all times. Example: I am a concerned American standing up for... .... America. ..... American Democracy. .... the United States Constitution. .... the American election process. Etc. If there is a relief ‘stander’ coming, surrender your flag to them to hold onto in case a person shows up without a flag, or just wants to join in. Wear a mask... Social Distance .... .... Stay Well.

    NNANNAHace 10 días
  • Oh dear. Swans are monogamist. If Bay and that male swan have mates somewhere, that well-intentioned get-together could lead to a looooooad of trouble once they get home 😁

    Frizzle the CatFrizzle the CatHace 10 días
  • Wow.. Man thanks.. I laughed a lot! I'm f. confined alone away from family and friends, and your video just cheered me up. Thank you.

    Érico N.Érico N.Hace 10 días
  • Who watches this unfunny simp

    Steve CSteve CHace 10 días
  • I wouldn't mind having some cold chicken, at least its chicken

    Awadribo DawaAwadribo DawaHace 10 días
  • Nice one!

    vhic S.vhic S.Hace 11 días
  • Lucky swans, they got health care and found luv,😉

    andrew ayalaandrew ayalaHace 11 días
  • Aww at 3:34 it looks like it’s wagging its little tail 😂🥺

    scubageek17scubageek17Hace 11 días
  • 4:20 lmfao

    Lets TalkLets TalkHace 11 días

    Josephine ThorntonJosephine ThorntonHace 11 días
  • Don't mention he who must not be named.

    asdasd asdasdasdasd asdasdHace 11 días
  • That story printed on Funions is a great idea, man!

    Lunchwagon DavisLunchwagon DavisHace 11 días
  • Awwwww the Swan story is a Ray of Sunshine!!! It made me SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!💛😇

    ByTiffanyNicoleByTiffanyNicoleHace 11 días
  • Yes, jealous as heck. I just watch ESworld all day.

    Ms. PMs. PHace 11 días
  • i didn't even know birds COULD wag their tails, much less did it when they're happy like dogs do

    Tucker BowenTucker BowenHace 11 días
  • Thanks for covering the amazing swan rescue! Here's the truth about Mute Swans: According to swan expert and world-renowned conservationist Sheila Bolin, the Reform Act of 2004 to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918, was entered into Congress inappropriately and illegally, and was never ratified by President Bush. It was never heard by Congress or any committee and therefore, it is null and void. This means that any and all acts perpetrated against Mute Swans (and other birds covered by this Reform Act) are in violation of international law and have been all this time. Hundreds of thousands of Mute Swans have been slaughtered throughout the United States because they were illegally removed from the Migratory Bird Act in 2004. With this information, we want Congress and our state legislators to place an immediate moratorium on all Mute Swan killings and to investigate the illegal way the Migratory Bird Treaty Reform Act of 2004 was pushed through Congress and also hold the DNR, US Fish and Wildlife, USDA, and anyone else who has killed Mute Swans anywhere in the United States accountable for violating the original Treaty. THIS BOGUS TREATY REFORM ACT IMPACTS ALL MUTE SWANS AND OTHER BIRDS IN EVERY STATE! PLEASE CONTACT YOUR SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN AND ASK THEM TO STOP THIS DELIBERATE MISINFORMATION THAT IS COSTING TAXPAYERS BILLIONS AND KILLING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BIRDS ILLEGALLY.

    Lisa LevinsonLisa LevinsonHace 11 días
  • Can Temple University get some credit?!? We have had short story dispensers for over a year now.

    Alyssa BlockerAlyssa BlockerHace 11 días
  • 2:53 Wait, this isn't "The Lottery" ticket I wanted.

    ChaosLordChaosLordHace 11 días
  • ahh youngman you always save the best for last. I have to admit I think it's hysterical when birds chase people. Way cool fun story. Tops as always.

    athenia hathenia hHace 11 días
  • Cute. Too bad swans are invasive species destroying the ecosystem for native water fowl. I get it I do. I don't want any animal to suffer but how hard could it be too.... There are a pile of jokes here

    DarwinsomDarwinsomHace 11 días
  • LOL, swan love story. Nice break from COVID-Trump!!!!!!!!!!

    haydee herrerahaydee herreraHace 11 días
  • Trevor, that idea about printing stories ON product wrappers is low-key genius.

    Steven CrawleySteven CrawleyHace 11 días
  • So you saying that Golf tournaments need a Dunking contest?

    HailstormfulHailstormfulHace 11 días
  • 2:54 "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson?

    Lulu LiuLulu LiuHace 11 días
  • Lol that first story sounded like some softcore housewife nouvelle shit 🤣

    firstname lastnamefirstname lastnameHace 11 días
  • God bless President Donald John Trump.

    Huib RijntjesHuib RijntjesHace 11 días
  • Shut up you liar...

    Huib RijntjesHuib RijntjesHace 11 días
  • Damn that was CRAZY!!

    Can I just be me?Can I just be me?Hace 11 días
  • Her "why go to a candy dispenser when you can have a piece of literature?" Me = ummm SUGAR 🤔

    Daniel CurcioDaniel CurcioHace 11 días
  • "band from the zoo for life"... why did this get me :)

    Cutie PatootieCutie PatootieHace 11 días
  • I am glad she helped the swan. Sweet story.

    Raquel F.Raquel F.Hace 11 días
  • Swan lake 2.0?

    Ebk ToneEbk ToneHace 11 días
  • Change that headline to "woman kidnaps swan and traffics her in to a forced relationship with a male swan"

    Eric d'PeerikEric d'PeerikHace 11 días
  • It's pronounced 'Alexander Du-mah' ; )

    Hemlock LannisterHemlock LannisterHace 11 días
  • Wait. What was cold chicken doing in your underwear?😁

    BidentheAntiTrumpBidentheAntiTrumpHace 11 días
  • Swan goals... Pecking children's eyes out... 💯 Those things are no joke mean 😂

    KPepper LKPepper LHace 11 días
  • On the topic of animals mugging you, there was this viral video on my college campus where a guy had his sandwich stolen from a raccoon 🤣🤣🤣 To be fair: it was his fault! Like you had time to swat the raccoon but naw you let’em jack your lunch and scurry off 🤦🏽‍♀️

    ReneA P.ReneA P.Hace 11 días
  • Trevor in 2020 "Last YEAR, I got mugged by a duck." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I WATCHED IT SEVERAL TIME AND STILL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Abel 's strength & conditioningAbel 's strength & conditioningHace 11 días
  • You are the comedy.

    Opheliah BurgherOpheliah BurgherHace 11 días
  • OMG. , Do you have a brain of your own or do you just read the script from your overlord masters??Now no Thanksgiving for you fools do as your master says and lick some boots!!!

    Jimmy CranierJimmy CranierHace 11 días
  • That Story vending Machine, totally gonna steal the idea and do my own DIY punk version of it w my friends! Brilliant! Somebody might have to sit in a box but hey, artists have to suffer! Or hell, could I sell this idea over here to some board of culture? Modern Art Museum,... yeah. Thanks for the tip, will remember to tip Trevor once I get the chaching!

    Anthony BorderlineAnthony BorderlineHace 11 días
  • What was wrong with the swan? How could she see that it was in trouble?

    b33thr33kayb33thr33kayHace 11 días
  • CVS could print these on the back of their toilet paper trail long coupon receipts

    Patrick MeagherPatrick MeagherHace 11 días
  • Miniature golf on a grand scale😁😊

    fuzzy Parkerfuzzy ParkerHace 11 días
  • this guy is just not funny at all

    Steven ColonSteven ColonHace 11 días
  • Gracias por el gran vídeo. Me gusta verlo y espero que a más gente le guste. Para ti yo comparte otras cosas felices Haga clic en ▶ .https: //tinyurl.com/urflirtyjoygirlteen10 __________________________________________________________________ Demasiado amor hace que el mundo sea muy pacífico y feliz. Eso es bueno para todos nosotros. Gracias por su participación. Te deseo todas las bendiciones de un Creador Todopoderoso.

    Leovanny LubissLeovanny LubissHace 11 días
  • Love animals, so I like the swan story. But it should not be ignored that swans tend to be fuckin assholes. Lol

    The_JiantThe_JiantHace 11 días
  • 1) its at BYU, so the stories probably have some religion angle with extremely conservative morality. 2) when did Mormons become Amish? Did I moss something? Haven't these people ever heard of Kindle ffs? Lol

    The_JiantThe_JiantHace 11 días
  • You have a hell of a imagination ⛳️🦢

    Remy Hors d'âgeRemy Hors d'âgeHace 11 días

    Cassandra LeboragCassandra LeboragHace 11 días
  • Its pronounced Uh-gust-uh... Damn national news people get it right...

    T AT AHace 11 días
  • What golf needs, is to be disc-golf. Much better, much more exciting :D

    Hans-Christian RistadHans-Christian RistadHace 11 días
  • Damn! I had a mouthful of coffee when Trevor said."I got mugged by a duck..."

    Alberto EusebioAlberto EusebioHace 11 días
  • Those swans will mate for life, this was really meant to be

    santanismesantanismeHace 11 días
  • Dude perfect Says hello

    Abdulaziz Al-amriAbdulaziz Al-amriHace 11 días
  • There's a swan jerking off 😂

    Inas ShInas ShHace 11 días
  • This show never fails to make me laugh 😂

    Arjun K.SArjun K.SHace 11 días